Trust Your Instincts

(via idothattoo)

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.”

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn’t moved a muscle. “Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.”

She calmly turned her head and said, “In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.”

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, “Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch.”

Emotions are such a bitch that sometimes I just wish I was Vulcan.

well, there’s a lot of reasons. i mean, roses only last like a couple weeks and that’s if you leave them in water and they really only exist to be pretty so that’s like saying “my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance”.

but a potato! potatos last for ever, man in fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow shit even if you just leave them in the sack. that part alone makes it a good symbol but there’s more!there are so many ways to enjoy a potato!

you can even make a battery with it! and that’s like saying “i have many ways in which I show my love for you” and potatos may be ugly, but they’re still awesome so that’s like saying “it doesn’t matter at all what you look like, I’ll still love you”.